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Personal Inquiry Coaching

“This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

William Shakespeare

 

Whilst I was studying peace and conflict studies at Chulalongkorn University I found myself reflecting on alternative ways to resolve conflict.  I discovered that all conflict comes from within given what we believe or how we judge a situation.  I discovered transformative peace which is a means of turning negative conflict into positive transformation.  The Work of Byron Katie was the best tool I could find to transform personal conflict.  The ramifications in the workplace are profound if this becomes a technique all staff and management use.  I use it in my own life and feel peaceful most of the time.  It takes a lifetime to completely resolve all conflict within ourselves but it is a great starting point and when proficient will prevent conflict from emerging in the workplace.   Here is an overview from her website (www.thework.com)

“The Work of Byron Katie is a way of identifying and questioning the thoughts that cause all the anger, fear, depression, addiction, and violence in the world. Experience the happiness of undoing  those thoughts through The Work, and allow your mind to return to its true, awakened, peaceful, creative nature…”

Personal inquiry is about going to the source of all conflict, the individual. In most conflict situations both parties will point the finger of blame at the other, but seldom sit down and reflect on the inner conflict they are experiencing.  The Work is very effective in leading people back to themselves as the creator of their problem and the creator of their solution.  Often negative thinking is believed as ‘true’ but when questioned it is found to be projection.  The Work process is about venting anger and judgement about others and then turning it around to look at themselves.  It is not about blame but trying on judgements and seeking for truth.  It is a process that can be used at work or at home.

Here is a video by Byron Katie

The core of the process is as follows:

The four questions

Example: John doesn’t listen to me about his work.

1. Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?

Turn the thought around

a) to the self. ( I don’t listen to myself about my health.)
b) to the other. ( I don’t listen to Paul about his health.)
c) to the opposite. ( Paul does listen to me about his health.)
Then find at least three specific, genuine examples of how
each turnaround is true for you in this situation.